Self Talk

I have some serious issues with all sorts of things. You could say I am a bit OCD. I have problems with germs and doors being locked. I have issue's with animals, with the way things are organized, sometimes I have to wash my hair several times or clean a counter or sink over and over. I used to vacuum four or five times a day.{ I had a great roommate that helped me get this down to one or two times a day} I have others that I won't mention. You think maybe I am a little crazy? Maybe. I can't concentrate very well when all around is to me, in chaos. I struggle just to get to the next thing. Having four kids has not helped my problem. I have to close doors and try and concentrate on the item at hand instead of all the things that my eye can see that need to be done in one room. If only you could get into my head you could hear a chorus of people screaming as to what needs to be done and how it is not done correctly and needs to be done over and over till I can relax. We all have our own demons. I have struggled with this since I was little.

This is where 'Self Talk' comes in. I can get worked up till I am depressed and feel quite hopeless, because I can't get all the things my mind is telling me done. I also feel overwhelmed that I can't keep up and I am failing. It is a vicious circle. My Mom called me one day about 10 years ago and told me about this Oprah Show that I should watch. I am not a big fan, but I said OK. It was all about this OCD thing. One of the techniques to help cope was talking to yourself inside your head. { When I say there are conversations going on , I am talking about some heated debates} It does help. I just have to rationalize things and try to talk myself into why it doesn't matter. It works most of the time. Since I started this I haven't had anytime where I was so distraught that I couldn't get out of bed and I can sit down now and watch a movie without getting up. {Skip is so glad for this}. I don't vacuum everyday, although the desire is still there, I just talk myself out of it. I have learned to only check the doors once or twice {sometimes I just end up at the door and I don't remember why} I am finding that the more complicated my life gets the harder it is to talk myself down from some things. I will continue to fight through, with this Self Talk. So if you see me not smiling and looking like I am in a fog, don't worry I am just in a deep conversation with the other people in my head!