Losing Ground... read at your own risk...

I need to go to bed. It is way too late. I was up at a friends house last night til 1:30 am. We had a great time talking and eating. I am getting to old for late nighters. I needed three Motrin in the morning and I all I did was talk and laugh. I am willing to pay the piper for the chance to talk with great friends.

Today was really quite out of control. All my plans turned into mush, when I double scheduled myself with out knowing. I rose from my state of incoherency about 7:15 {Claire had everything to do with it. For some reason, I can't figure out, the girl must eat immediately after her eyeballs see the light of day. There is no putting it off unless you want to listen to wailing and gnashing of teeth} After taking some Motrin and washing my face I was ready to face the day. We had breakfast and then I gave Claire her fix of Blues Clues.{I am a pusher} I got ready for some RS visits. I was feeling pretty good. I was on time. I was organized. I had all my errands in a row ready to go. Life was good.{ For about 15 min, I say savor every good thing no matter how fleeting it might be. It may be the last good thing for a while.} We arrived at our first appointment, sat down and started to visit. My cell rings. It was Jack. I excused myself and answered it. The piano teacher was there. AAUGGGG! I forgot! I talked to him on the phone, apologized and said I would be home in 20 min. He was very gracious and waited for me. THANK YOU JAKE!

After I got home, I put the troops that were not in a lesson to work cleaning. Truly my house is such a mess and very unorganized. It makes life very difficult for me.{ too many people talking in my head. It is very loud in there.} After Jake left. I needed to run another errand back into town. I told someone I would be by at a certain time and I really couldn't miss it. The kids were hungry, so I told them I will be back in 20 min and I will buy Macaroni and cheese {yuck} they love it and they never get it. They were happy about that. I spouted off instructions about what I wanted cleaned while I was gone. Did it happen ? No, But Jack did text me that Sam was driving him crazy and would I please get home soon. { all while I was trying to deal with some enrichment activity stuff, that deals with money and orders.{my mind is just swimming now} I really don't need siblings screaming over the cell phone in text form . I get enough at home.

I arrive home to find nothing done and a myriad of excuses as to why "x" could not be accomplished. { the usual blaming of others for your own choices. AHGGG!} We talk about it and I finally say, exasperatedly; "Just go do it, no more talking to me on this subject!" {I am sure no other well meaning Moms have had this happen:)} Anyway, Jack decides he wants to go to someones house to play,which is great. There is a nice kid visiting his father for a couple weeks and Jack really has no friends here, so I am a little indulgent about last minute plans with him. The problem lies with Claire. We just put her down for a nap, mind you she is not asleep,but if I get her up will she think ;Oh, I can get up when ever Mommy puts me down. She actually came down and said," I woke up Mommy . I am happy now." Great, Great.... Get in the car so we can go for yet another ride in to town............Of course she falls asleep in the car.

As I am trying to figure out why my money doesn't match my order forms{which is hard to do while someone very short is coming down from the high that is "Blues Clues" yes, I pushed more on her.} I get a call from someone in the ward wanting to know if I want to car pool with her to cub scouts tonight ,because they are all going to this park for a letter boxing activity. Well, I didn't get the e-mail about this, so I am grateful that she called. Yes, of course I would love to car pool. This just means another drive into town.

Jack's friend drops him off and lets just say they had a great time , but Jack made a poor choice {not life threatening or salvation damming and no one was hurt} and I called him on it and he is busted. He is crying. Why? I am not sure it could be any number of reasons: guilt and remorse{I hope} got caught{ maybe}has to admit to friend{probably}. Anyway, what an ordeal. Plus Claire is crying and She doesn't know why. Her answer. Blake decides or not that this is a good time to have an accident. He is crying and it takes a lever to pry that reason out of him. All while i am trying to do the dishes and make some sort of dinner.{probably because I was raising my voice to Jack,.. spreading the love around.... Can you feel it?} I feel like I am spinning out of control.

I leave the house with Sam to pick up his friend. Am I on time? NO! Was I feeling pretty good? NO!... Yes! I did have all my errands once again in a organized row. Jack was in control of himself making cheese crisp for the kids, corn bread was in the oven waiting to be done and there were apple slices all around. I drive into town.

I call Skip and give him the abbreviated version of what went down with Jack and ask him to please go home as soon as he can, or when he is done or whatever. I fight through 6:30 traffic to get Sam and his buddy to Scouts. We make it.WHEW! {Sam tells me his stomach hurts, don't worry he doesn't get sick, one more thing to wrap my mind around} He has been telling me this for about four days now every time he eats. What to do? ... I will call the doctor tomorrow.

When Sam gets home, we ask him how was Scouts? He hems and haws then finally he tells us he didn't really participate. There were to many guys and they were out of control and he didn't want to fight them to try to do it. Then he starts to cry { All Cry all Day} He said he left his stuff on the hood of someones car while he was waiting for the ride to get them and he forgot it. Plus his leader might think he doesn't like Scouts because he didn't do the stamping, but she didn't either. He says this all while he is crying. I am drained. I just say,"Go brush your teeth, I will be up in a minute." I send Skip instead. I can't face him. I am worn down. Blake then calls me from my stupor. He is yelling at the top of his lungs from his bed { not unusual, but this really pushes my hot button, I mean I am trying to keep Claire asleep. This is the prime objective.} I go upstairs, stare down Blake and he tells me he was calling me, because Sam is under his covers weeping. Please, no more tears I can't take it. I give Sam a hug and tell him I am sorry too, but I am not going back to that park tomorrow. Next time he will need to keep track of his stuff and maybe a leader might have found it. He calms some what. Blake tries to sneak in, while I am soft, a " Can you get us our drinks." NO! the rage is Back..... I go get Chocolate.

Did I mention I signed up our family at a Gym today!