Snakes

I left the house this morning to go for a swim. As I got into the car and checked to see if my phone was on I noticed that it was dead. I thought," That is no big deal I will be back in an hour." I came home and started up the walk and there on the front stoop was a big black snake{ I think it was a black snake I am not a ophiologist and the snake looked like his head was pointed, that means viper, maybe? I always think the worst in these situations}

Well, I am outside and the snake is blocking my way. He is sitting right in front of the door. If I get the kids to come to the door{ throwing rocks at the window, which I would surely break. Especially since I have warned them over and over to shoot their sling shots away from the house and not at each other}... they will for sure open it. Even if I do some sort of hand signal to not open the door they will probably open the door and say, "What, I don't know what you mean?" As the snake slithers between their feet into my house. I cannot get in. I thought I will call on the phone...opps no phone. What would my mother do.

{KILL IT AND KILL IT AND KILL IT} Sorry no hoe available. Locked in the garage and of course the garage door opener is in the house because the kids left it their after their last ...whatever.

I resort to throwing rocks at the snake and yelling at it to get off my porch. Really, who does he think he is sunning himself right in my path. The snake finally gets the message and slithers off the porch down the side of the house. I call the boys to come and see. We watch the snake slither parallel to the side of the house for a while and then Jack pokes at it with a branch. The snake slithers under my house. Perfect! ... You know this house is a little worse for wear {not my fault} Some of the air conditioning vents have holes in them. These holes happen to be under the house. Great!..

If I have to write a post about a snake in my house I will FREAK OUT.