Goals???

Today is the beginning of a New Year. Many people like the idea of setting resolutions for the New Year. While I like the idea and I get a feeling of empowerment when I do this little ritual. It doesn't usually pan out. For some reason I don't have the stamina to make it through 365 days.

My list usually includes exercising, eating better, scripture reading, and getting enough sleep. I have to keep recommitting to these goals which isn't a bad thing, in fact I think this is how any good goal setter does it. I am no quitter that is for sure, but I find myself languishing in the no mans land of broken goals. Ever been there?

This year I have decided that I should approach this from a different angle. I thought I might take a talk from one of the modern day Apostles and try to apply it through out the year. I think one of my favorites had to be Elder Wirthlin's talk. Laughter was one of the major themes in his talk. I agree I think we need more laughter everyday. Several articles on laughter also support this truth: Laugh, Laugh, Laugh.

Jack once told me that he thought God was so smart in giving us the gift of laughter, because it made him feel so good. I have to agree. When I laugh it helps to really difuse the tense situation. My kids seem more relaxed and willing to listen. I also think if it is used in a safe way, not laughing or making fun of others mistakes or mistalks, not making others feel less than they are, it can make our home feel like a safe haven from the world. Where you can say anything , ask any question and know we have got your back.

So here is a little joke to bring some laughter into your day.
Corporate Sociology 101: The Two Cow Explanation:

A CHRISTIAN DEMOCRAT:You have two cows.You keep one and give one to your neighbor.

A SOCIALIST:You have two cows.The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.

AN AMERICAN REPUBLICAN:You have two cows.Your neighbor has none.So what?

AN AMERICAN DEMOCRAT:You have two cows.Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor.You feel righteous.

A COMMUNIST:You have two cows.The government seizes both and provides you with milk.

A FASCIST:You have two cows.The government seizes both and sells you the milk.You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.

DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE:You have two cows.The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE:You have two cows.You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE:You have two cows.The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:You have two cows.You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION:You have two cows.You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION:You have two cows.You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION:You have two cows.You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:You have two cows…but you don’t know where they are. You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:You have two cows.You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION:You have 5000 cows.None of them belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION:You have two cows.You worship both of them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION:You have two cows.You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported otherwise.

Okay you see what has happened I am breaking my goal already. I don't think any of these groups could be in my house and feel safe after I told this joke! I might have to rethink this.