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Monday, February 1

Anxiety and Gentleness

For almost two years now I have been worried quite a bit about this crazy kid. He seemed to get sick about once a month with some sort of stomach flu. As his mother I felt completely hopeless. I asked the Doctor in VA, but she just told me to keep tracking it and that lots of viruses were going around. No one else in our family seemed to get it. I pretty much ruled out viral. I tracked his symptoms and ruled any sort of food allergy. I thought perhaps it was the house we were living in. The house in VA had some mold problems. We moved out of that house and the problem persisted.

You just worry about your kids so much and I was feeling very inadequate. This past Thanksgiving one of our parents told us that we might want to think about a stress factor. It had never occurred to me that stress could be the culprit. Our life is not real stressful, although once I started thinking about it and him I realized this kid did have some major anxiety problems. I am so grateful to this parent. (they will go unnamed, as I don't know that they want to be revealed) They opened up a whole new way of looking at this child. I am so blessed to have parents that follow the Spirit.

A fear of dogs. A fear of thief's. A fear of strangers. These are all normal childhood fears. I can totally relate, because I was a stress case as a kid. Only through constant prayer and scripture study have I been able to over come some of the anxiety that has persisted into my adult life. I am still a freak show, just less emphasis on freak.

After Thanksgiving I did some research into this vomiting problem. I watched my son with different eyes. He had three more incidents after Thanksgiving. I started to believe that stress could be the culprit. After talking with Blake I found out a little more about his concerns and I tried to help him with them. As I tracked his prognosis I realized that before every incident I had yelled at him...not in the early morning hours when the episodes would start but the day before. This killed me inside. I felt I was causing him to have this anxiety. I knew.


I prayed about it, asking for help and forgiveness. This child, so precious to our Father in Heaven, I felt I was messing up. I have him in my charge for only a few short years. Trying to have more patience was a real challenge. Then one day as I was driving down my street all alone when a quite voice inside my head said, " Gentleness, he needs gentleness. He is my son. I know him." Wow, this was what I needed to hear. Really we could all use more gentleness. I am sure that the Savior would be gentle, and long suffering........ I held him more, read to him more, and listened to him more.

During this time I also did lot of research I came up with some ideas about the stress problem and then went to a doctor to discuss a plan of action. This doctor was extremely kind and helpful. We went in and did some blood work, just to be on the safe side, but the doctor seems to think it could be an acid reflux problem that could be stress based.

So, we are trying some different things in hopes that we can get rid of this problem. I realize so many other people have bigger issues with their children, but this is an issue I must face and it is big and real to me. I LOVE MY KIDS SO MUCH. I just want to do the right things to help them to be strong, faithful, independent, loving people. I guess that is where my anxiety lies, but that is for another time.

3 comments:

Emily said...

NO issue is a small issue when it comes to our kids. Anxiety itself is no small matter, especially when looking at someone so young. How wonderful to be able to work on these things now, and to develop positive coping skills now, under a loving mother and father's care!

I think you and the unnamed grandparent are amazing for prayerfully sorting this out. I'm sure there are many prayers to come regarding this, but how wonderful to know the direction you need to be heading.

ShelleyG said...

Ah, this post made me squeak out a little tear. If I am stressed our anxious I definately feel it in my gut. I throw up if I am too nervous! I too was afraid of EVERYTHING and still cannot even watch anything scary. If I avoid most media, my anxiety level is much lower. I was terrified to do so many things. I think moving a lot helped me with that because it basically was sink or swim. I overcame fear enough to make friends, but I never could try out for sports teams (too scared!) It has made me push myself to do things that terrify me, just so I can get over it (at least a little).

I am glad he's got a mom who is willing to be still and listen. We all come with our own set of challenges and he is lucky to have a mom who is interested in helping him! Keep up the good work!

Compare and Prepare said...

Eric had a similar problem. As a mom your heart aches for these tender little guys.

Michelle is right. Trying new things (or being forced to, by moving) helps. I signed Eric up for lots of classes and sports teams. Always with a buddy or brother so he wasn't totally freaked. The first day was hard, but he made it and soon could cope on his own with no buddy or bro. help!

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